On Starting Over Again

If you follow my Twitter, and most likely you don’t because I have a whopping 79 followers as of now as I’m writing this (and I appreciate every single one), you will notice that I have put in my description: “A phoenix starting over; soaring soon.”

As I mentioned in my previous essay I am currently recovering from depression and anxiety. Last year has been my life’s lowest point. However, with my now accumulated sackful of salt I take what has happened beyond face value and say that it has been one that has blessed me the most lessons. And since I can’t sleep because I’m a genius and I drank coffee, I’ll share some with you.

1. Depression is not for the fainthearted.

I have to admit that I was once one of those people who thought that people with depression just “can’t deal with it”. Of course, I now have a different opinion.

I read Margarita Holmes’ article on depression and she says, “depression is not a disorder I would wish on anyone,” and I believe the same. Depression isn’t a fun joyride for emo people. It is a hard disorder that makes living, well, a living nightmare.

Learn more about what depression is. Give others your understanding. Trust me, you’d want the favor returned too.

2. Maturity is not the way you appear.

One of the most important things that I learned is that we as a society thrive on appearances. We equate intangible qualities in the tangible way people act towards others and carry themselves.

But I have met people who seemed to be mature at first glace and yet displayed immaturity when they opened their mouths. I think and believe that the true test of maturity is in authenticity. Authenticity is something that we should all strive for. When we are brave enough to always be the real us, that is when we grow up.

3. Learning about yourself is the best weapon you have.

Knowing about you will let you be aware of your shortcomings. And when you are, you then have the chance to show yourself some love and accept them. And who cares if you have them? Everyone does. You are still interesting and likeable. And the fun in knowing about yourself is seeing your awesome parts.

4. Know that some people will never apologize, and you have to be OK with it.

Yup, someone hurt you, made you miserable, or lonely, or angry, and they won’t admit to any wrongdoings.

You have to be OK with it. You can’t make them do what you want, just as no one can make you do what you don’t want. Letting go is tough, but freeing. Also remember: only small people don’t apologize.

5. Nothing feels better than enjoying your work.

6. Negative emotions are barriers to financial wealth.

7. Be grateful, and you will experience joy.

As Brene Brown described in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, “Happiness is tied to circumstance and joyfulness is tied to spirit and gratitude.

“We need both happiness and joy. I think it’s important to create and recognize the experiences that make us happy. But in addition to creating happiness in our lives, I’ve learned that we need to cultivate the spiritual practices that lead to joyfulness, especially gratitude.”

8. Trust. Not everything in life is out to get you.

In knowing about myself I realized that I have trust issues. Whelp, there it goes. But I think that I am not the only one. I think that everyone has some level of problems with trust. Fear of trusting in happiness. Fears of trusting in people. Fear of trusting in ourselves.

In my experience, the episodes in my life that have punched me square in the gut are the ones that I never worried about. So why bother worrying? Life will always hand out lemons and we will always have to make lemonade. We have to remember that most of the time, life gives us cake to wash down with that lemonade.