Why A Feminist Mother Wants A Son


Sorry, writing this on the WP app so I can’t properly show the video. The link above is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Tedx talk on feminism. You may recognize it as the recording featured on Beyonce’s song “Flawless”. I encourage you to watch it.

I want a son. I want a son more than I want a daughter. The reason is simple: life is easier for a heterosexual man.

It is not that I am not optimistic about gender equality. I still have some hope that the time will come when we will acknowledge that we are all equal. However, clashing with that optimism is the knowledge that life is not fair. And my maternal instincts demand every advantage available for my child.

When my son gets scrapes and wounds from play, he will not be told that his future self will hate him because he will not have flawless legs.

When my son starts to learn how to drink and have fun, I don’t have to worry that he will be date raped.

Should my son have the intelligence for it, he will be welcomed into fields of sciences, mathematics, programming and other related courses with open arms.

My son will earn a higher salary than his female counterparts, regardless of talent and effort.

My son will not be forced to aspire to a standard of beauty, and will not be shamed for failing to reaching it.

If my son does reach that standard of beauty, he will not be called a bitch and a whore if he acknowledges it.

When my son flirts or worse, sleeps around: he will not be called a slut; only a stud, and with a congratulatory pat on the back.

My son will not be shamed for exploring or flaunting his sexuality. Again, pat on the back.

Chances are rare that my son will be sexually assaulted or harassed on public transportation, offices, schools or anywhere, really.

My son can chose to be a feminist and feminist arguments will sound more convincing when they are coming from him instead of me.

Of course, it goes without saying that whatever my child’s gender is, I will accept and love with all my heart. But please, God, should you see it fit, give us a son.